Tammy's Tidbits

Today was the day. My daughter moved out, and as I sit here, tears streaming, I can’t help but let the emotions spill onto the page. I knew this day would come—I wasn’t naïve about it. But knowing something in your head and feeling it in your heart are two very different things.

Oh, how I wish I had just a little more time. Time with her under our roof, time to hear her laugh from the next room, or to see her as I passed by her bedroom door. Those small moments, the ones I took for granted, are the ones I’m aching for now.

I thought I could escape the weight of this transition by avoiding it. I purposely wasn’t here when she packed her things and carried them out. But when I came home to her empty room, it hit me like a tidal wave. The silence in that space spoke louder than anything else could—it was final and full of the memories we made together.

I’m not worried about her, not in the slightest. She’s smart, kind, beautiful, and has everything she needs to thrive in this next chapter of her life. She’s surrounded by friends and she is building a foundation to stand on. I know she’ll do great things because she always has.

What I’m feeling isn’t about her capabilities or readiness. It’s grief. Grief for the chapter that has closed. No one prepares you for how hard it is to let your children go. They’re still yours, of course, but the way you mother them changes. The past 21 years—full of laughter, growth, and yes, even challenges—are over, and now we’re entering a new phase.

I’m still her mom, and I always will be. But it’s going to look different now. She’ll build her own life, and I’ll learn how to support her in new ways, from a bit further away. And I’ll also have to figure out how to be just me again—not as someone’s mom first, but as a person rediscovering herself in an empty nest.

I figured out how to be a mom along the way. I guess I’ll figure out this part, too.

To all the parents who have been through this or are bracing for it, how did you navigate these emotions? What helped you find your footing again? I’d love to hear your advice or experiences in the comments. Let’s lean on each other during this bittersweet season of change.